ROLLER DERBY: Slow Second-Half Start Stunts Portland's Upset Hopes

The skaters weren't this blurry in person.

This past Saturday night, the Men’s Roller Derby Association’s #5-ranked Puget Sound Outcast Derby traveled to take on Portland Men’s Roller Derby’s #7-ranked Bridgetown Menace. Puget Sound came into the bout undefeated this season with wins over #14 Deep Valley and unranked Southern Discomfort at the Big O. Portland was coming off a successful Spring Roll beating #6 Mass Maelstrom and #9 Race City before losing to #1 Your Mom.

Bridgetown had never come within 100 points of beating Puget Sound’s travel team. That all changed Saturday night. Aside from a horrific start to the second half, Bridgetown outplayed Puget Sound. But, Puget Sound’s 99-0 run coming out of the locker room at the half proved insurmountable in their 242-199 victory.

Puget Sound collected lead jammer on the first five jams to jump out to a 25-9 lead. Scott Slamilton, who led all jammers with 85 points, scored fifteen of those when Bridgetown jammer Shreddy Mercury picked up a back block. Bridgetown took the lead two jams later when Puget Sound jammer Speed Dealer committed a cut allowing Elysium to score a nineteen-point power jam.

After picking up lead jammer on the next four jams, Puget Sound was up again 47-35 midway through the half. But, the lead didn’t last long thanks to four straight jams in the box for Puget Sound’s jammers. With 4:30 left in the first half, Bridgetown had their largest lead of the bout at 88-63. It didn’t last long. Despite strong power jam-killing defense by Bridgetown, jammers Quadzilla and Scott Slamilton jammed their way to a 94-92 Puget Sound halftime lead.

Here Bridgetown (in purple) does something important while Puget Sound (in yellow) does something equally important. By the way, Urinal Gum is in need of a new photographer.

Miscues, sloppy play, and penalty trouble marred the start of the second half for Bridgetown. On the first jam, strong Puget Sound blocking kept Bridgetown’s Elysium from completing his initial pass and allowed Puget Sound’s jammer Dilly Dally to rack up 25 points. As the jam was ending, an exhausted Elysium cut two of his own skaters and was sent to the box. When Elysium was released from the box on the following jam, he passed the star to Bangers N Stache. Bangers kept getting knocked out and drawn back while he tried to put on the star pantie. He eventually put the pantie on while he was out of bounds and was whistled for an illegal procedure. This allowed Puget Sound’s Scott Slamilton to score a second-straight 25-point jam.

Bangers N Stache began the third jam of the half still in the box. This allowed Speed Dealer to score a 20-0 jam. All told, Puget Sound earned lead on all of the first seven jams of the second half to take a commanding 193-92 lead with 18:30 left in the bout. Puget Sound used more Bridgetown penalty trouble to extend their lead to a game high 234-109 with thirteen minutes left. Puget Sound’s jammer Dilly Dally tallied a 25-0 power jam in there to add to his total of 80 for the game.

It was only then that things began to click again for Bridgetown. In the final thirteen minutes, Bridgetown went on a 90-8 tear picking up lead jammer nine times to Puget Sound’s one. Included in that streak was a 20-0 final power jam by Shreddy Mercury, who led Bridgetown with 80 points. But, it was not enough. Puget Sound skated away with another victory over Bridgetown, 242-199.

Puget Sound’s next sanctioned play will be at the Mohawk Valley Cup August 17th in New York. Bridgetown travels down to Ukiah, Cali. next to play Deep Valley and Drive-By City on August 24th.

Jammer Stats:

Puget Sound (Lead – Total – In Box – Points) 
Scott Slamilton (5 – 10 – 5 – 85)
Dilly Dally (4 – 10 – 3 – 80)
Cory Pain (4 – 7 – 1 – 29)
Speed Dealer (4 – 8 – 2 – 24)
Quadzilla (2 – 4 – 0 – 20)
Stan DaSide (1 – 1 – 0 – 4)
Chuck Hendrick (0 – 1 – 0 – 0)

Bridgetown Menace (Lead – Total – In Box – Points)
Shreddy Mercury (7 – 14 – 5 – 80)
Bangers N Stache (3 – 7 – 3 – 55)
Elysium (5 – 12 – 4 – 42)
Bruce Payne (2 – 7 – 0 – 20)
Demolition Man (1 – 1 – 0 – 2)
Han Cholo (0 – 1 – 0 – 0)

This recap is brought to you by lawn chairs. I wish I had one. It really would have been better than sitting on the floor like a moron. But, I never think ahead.